It’s been a busy couple weeks as I’ve adjusted to my new job and work schedule, managed two busy schedules with just one car while we waited for mine to be fixed, went through most of my remission tests, bought a lot of furniture, and watched a lot of HGTV. I’ve neglected HTC on so many levels because “I’ve been busy” but the truth is, I’ve been in a bit of a rut. And yes, I’ve had a lot going on in my life, but I’ve also had a lot of down time that I’ve filled with HGTV, so I really can’t use my business as an excuse.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Hey There, Chelsie because I’ve been away from it more than I had planned, basically for the last 6 months. I know I keep saying that I want to be more consistent (and I do) and I keep saying that I have a lot of projects in the works (and I do) but I just haven’t been able to recommit to it like I’ve wanted to. Every morning I wake up so mad that I didn’t get my post done the night before and every night I come up with some reason to not work on it. It’s not that I’ve lost my passion for my blog, but I’ve been so sucked into the comparison game and watching everyone else grow while feeling a bit of a loss on my own.
I’ve found some clarity, recently:
I was listening to a podcast the other day with Danielle Laporte (HIGHLY recommend listening if you are looking for some inspiration) and something she said really struck me to my core and resonated with me.
“Stop trying to be an expert at the crap you are not expert at just so you can make money. You might not actually be a teacher yet, but you want to be of service and make a living through that. So, talk to us about your journey. And talk to us about what you’re finding out. And tell us what you want to learn. Take us on the path with you and that can be of incredible service. Show us your hunt and your discovery and the questions you’re living right now. And let us know that it’s not all perfect. Be a seeker. Take us with you on the seeking. Live your life. Learn what works. Suffer. Win. Succeed. Then we are all in it together.”
This is where my roadblock has been recently. I’ve been stuck thinking that every thing I share and everything I write has to be from the point of an expert in order to make HTC successful. And even though I have always believed that Lifestyle Blogs Matter, I’ve convinced myself that I need to niche down at something I’m an expert at in order to get HTC to be successful. And I’ll admit it – there are times where I’m more focused on making money than sharing what’s really on my heart and mind.
But that’s not why I started blogging. I started blogging because I was on a journey of self-discovery and healing and in pursuit of a vibrant second-chance life.
I realized that is where true community is created when a journey is shared. A real, honest journey. So here’s an update on mine:
I’m not living as vibrantly as I should be, want to be, or can be. My word for this year was THRIVE and I’m not thriving in any way that I want to be. I’ve been going through the motions. I’ve been only giving 100% on my good days and giving nothing on my bad days. And then I find myself full of rage because I’m just not doing everything I should be or could be. Does that ever happen to you? You go through the motions for a few days or weeks or months and then you are full of rage because of all the time you wasted or the opportunities that passed you by or the lack of personal growth you feel? That’s how I’ve felt. Rage, but only at myself, because I am the only one to blame.
And yes, of course, I need to give myself grace and understand that I can’t do it all, but this is different. I’ve become lazy and content with the person I am right now instead of continually pushing myself and challenging myself to grow. I’ve let so much time pass by without DOING anything worthwhile or substantial for myself. I’ve taken steps back and fallen into old habits and I’m not proud of it.
I want so much more for myself and my life. I want to be driven and passionate and be able to get up in the morning feeling excited about my day instead of dreading it.
I want to make changes that stick. I want to treat my body better and find a balance between embracing technology and embracing nature. I want to take care of myself physically and mentally so I can have the energy and stamina to meet my potential. I want to be kinder, I want to be more generous with my time and my talents, I want to cultivate my talents, and I want to be MORE than my cancer and my past and my scars. I want to be MORE.
I WANT TO LIVE A VIBRANT LIFE! I want to get out of my ruts and my habits and let go of my excuses and limitations. I want to stop watching endless hours of Netflix and scrolling through the same Facebook stories over and over again and actually live more. I want to work hard and play harder. I want so much MORE for my life not only because I deserve it, but because there are so many others out there who didn’t get a second chance life as I did.
There is so much I want to do and change and I’m not sure how to do it all. These are the questions I’m facing right now, these are the questions I’m living and the answers in which I’m seeking. This is where I’m at in my journey. It’s not perfect, but it’s messy and it’s mine and I’m going to find these answers. I would love it if you tagged along.
Will this change my blog?
For the last year or so, I’ve shared a lot of style and beauty content, which I love. I NEVER thought I would be a style blogger when I started blogging and it’s totally changed my life. It’s given me a new love and confidence in my body and has very healing as I’ve worked through my issues with my insecurities and scars.
Putting on my makeup and cute clothes is my way of putting my best first step forward in pursuing a vibrant life. When I’m not investing care and time into myself, I don’t have any motivation to pursue anything else in my life. However, when I put on a kick-a pair of heels and have sharp AF winged liner on, I feel like I can take on the world.
The last few months. I’ve been getting up and kinda putting on my makeup, and putting on the same trendy clothes and then, just going through the motions. I go to work. I come home and take a nap. I watch HGTV. I go to bed. And then I feel rage because I didn’t do anything that I should have done or could have done and I because I feel left behind while my friends continue to grow.
I know I’m rambling but the whole point of this post is to say this: I know that there is more to my journey in living a vibrant life than just clothes and makeup. Make no mistake, I will continue to share about clothes and makeup, but I’ve realized that I want to expand on what I’m writing about. I want to share more on my journey to living a vibrant life by writing about travel, and self-improvement, and personal development and health. I’m not going to worry about being an expert in everything (although I still think I have some good tips and tricks on certain topics.) And while I will still try to produce helpful content, I will no longer push away my desire to just write.
I used to think I couldn’t write about those things because I wasn’t an expert. I’m not going to worry about that anymore because, like Danielle said above, I’m on a journey and THAT’S what I have to offer. Plus, knowing everything would be boring. I will still try to produce helpful content through this journey, but just know that I’m going to write as I learn and as I go.
All of that being said, I’d love to know if there is any specific part of my journey or the topics I mentioned above that you’d like to hear about in the comment below. Or, if you are a blogger, I’d love to know your stance (even if it’s different) on being an expert or having a niche blog.