Hey There, Chelsie

What’s in my Road Trip Tote + License Plate game

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If you follow me on snapchat (add me @cwhit145) then you might have seen a snap a couple weeks ago about another big change that’s coming up for my little family.

We’re moving. Again.

Remember that time we moved three times last year? Yeah? I sure do. And, we’re crazy people and adding another move to our resume this year. Dustin is going back to his summer sales job in Louisiana and we’ll be heading out to Layafette the first weekend of April. I’m not going to lie; I’m not very excited about this move. I love, love, love our home in Arizona and the people we’ve met here and the church we go to here. So, our plan is to come right back in September, like snowbirds! Knowing that we are going to come back makes this move a little less bitter, and with any luck, this job will help us pay off the last of our student debt. Plus, I’m excited to try real Southern food and to live five minutes away from my blogging pal, Taylor at Dear Friends.

It’s all about the bigger picture, am I right?

Since we’re about to add our fourth move to our list in the last 12 months, I wanted to share some of my road trip essentials. After moving from Idaho to California (April 2015,) California to Boston (July 2015,) and then Boston/Idaho to Arizona (September of 2015) and doing 90% of those moves by car, I feel like definitely have road tripping down to a science. So, if you are preparing for an epic road trip/move, here is everything I keep in my road trip tote that has been essential to our sanity and our safety!

Sunnies- We’ll be driving from Arizona through New Mexico and Texas and I expect to be driving through a lot of sunshine. I always have a pair of sunglasses in my road trip tote because they help protect my eyes from the bright light and prevent me from getting headaches from squinting! I love love love these cat-eyed sunnies I picked up at Target just a couple weeks ago to add to my collection; they are fashionable and have a great filter against the sun!

Headphones- Dustin and I take turns driving in 3-4 hour shifts, and while one of us is driving, the other one is trying to get rest. Since Dustin loves to listen to techno music while driving and since techno music isn’t very conducive to sleeping, I need headphones to block out his music so I can sleep!

Dentastix- Thankfully, Dustin and I were blessed with the world’s most perfect road tripping pup. Rosie handles long drives really well, as long as she has her puppy bed and her hedgehog toy in the back. Still, I always keep some Dentastix on hand (some of her favorite treats) to keep her occupied if she gets restless and to help her breath not stink. Trust me, there is nothing worse then being stuck in a car with a panty puppy who has stinky breath!

Mini Lint Roller - Another must when road tripping with a dog! Rosie tends to shed more when traveling from the stress, so we end up with dog hair everywhere. When we stop for dinner or at our hotel, the last thing we want is to drag in excess dog hair. So, I always keep our mini lint roller in my travel tote so that we can quickly get off before going into any public place.

Deodorant- I don’t know about you, but after spending 18 hours in a car, I feel pretty grody. I always, always have to have deodorant in my travel bag tote so that I can make sure that I feel as fresh and clean as possible after spending hours in the car!

Makeup Wipes- This goes hand in hand with the deodorant: my face feels SO grimy after driving for a few hours and eating fast food. Even though I don’t normally travel with makeup on, having the makeup wipes to take off any grime and refresh my skin is so important to my sanity while moving. If I don’t try to take care of the excess oils, I will break out a few days after getting to our new destination and that is NO fun!

Chapstick & Lotion- Like I said, my skin tends to freak out if I don’t take care of it while road tripping. My skin gets more oily and I break out and my lips get so chapped and my hands dry out. It might be the constant change of climates or just extra stress, but I need need need to have chapstick available at all times to prevent split lips.

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Hey There, March (Goals & Announcements)

Hey There,

I sat down the other night to write my March Goals post and as I went to look at my February goals post, I realized that it got lost when the back end of my site went psycho and locked me out of everything. I had my hosts restore my site from an older backup, resulting in the loss of my February Goals post. Just as well, since the month started out so rough with all of the tech stuff crashing on my new site.

That nightmare is over and I’m glad to report that HTC seems to be running as smoothly as possible (knock on wood) but I can’t remember all my February Goals…I’ll take my losses. I DO remember that I wanted to finish reading HP #2 with Dustin (success) and that I wanted to work on rebranding my old blog posts (I got through January 2015….baby steps, right?)

February wasn’t the month I wanted it to be for my new blog, but that’s okay. I learned a ton. I got a bit more organized. I’m ready to make March my own and to take on some crazy new endeavors! Here are my goals for March and a super exciting (and slightly terrifying) announcement for what’s to come this month (blogging friends, read on):

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If We Went out to Lunch

Last week was incredibly overwhelming and stressful and not the way I wanted to start off my year and new site. There were so many times I wanted to just go out to lunch with someone and pour my guts out to them over my favorite Thai food dish (Pad See-ew, of course) but since I still don’t know many people in AZ, that wasn’t really possible. So, today, I’m just going to open up here on the blog and pretend that I’m out to lunch with one of you (because I don’t drink coffee, but I love the idea of those posts) and let you know what’s been going on. I hope that’s okay.

If we went out to lunch, we would for sure go out to get Thai food because that’s my comfort food and I need some of that after the week I had. I would also go through 3 glasses of root beer before our food even got out because #screwhealthgoals when you are emotionally drained. I would thank you for meeting me and tell you that it was so good to actually talk to someone face to face after sitting behind my computer screen for days on end.

I’d tell you that I’m thinking about going back to my natural brown hair color, simply because my red hair is just so hard to maintain. I just spent 40 dollars getting it colored professionally three weeks ago and it’s faded back to a yucky red/brown. I’d debate back and forth; brown hair is easier, but I love the red hair so much. I feel more like me with it. Also, my extensions are red and I don’t want to dye those, either. So, I’ll ask you: do I keep the red hair?

If we went out to lunch, I’d tell you that last week I just about pulled the plug on the blog. I’ve never been so frustrated or defeated after watching the back end of my site completely break. I couldn’t edit my posts. I lost 1800 words on a post that I spent over an hour writing. I had a sponsored posts due in a few days and was freaking out. I’d tell you that I called customer support at 6:30 PM and didn’t get off the phone until 2 AM and tried my hardest to be patient and kind while the support guy (who knew NOTHING of WordPress) tried to help me. I’d tell you how I started to cry and had to get my husband to come in and request to talk to a supervisor, who fixed all my problems within 10 minutes, but that it resulted in losing half of my posts for the week. I’d tell you that even though things were fixed, I was so emotionally drained from the rebrand and the technical issues that I just wanted to be done with blogging and go get a job somewhere that didn’t involve so much heartache and a steadier paycheck.

I hope you would tell me that I was being dramatic and ridiculous and to keep blogging, because I need to hear words of encouragement.

And then, after we finished our lunch and ordered dessert, I would tell you that I’ve recently had contact with three of my students from when I was teaching and it’s made me miss it a little bit. I don’t miss the politics, but man, I miss my kids and I miss teaching them. And then, I would go into the whole spiel about what I want to do with my blog this year and how I want to merge my degree of teaching into the blog world and create courses to teach others how to do their makeup or their hair, or how to use Instagram, but I’m terrified that people will think that what I have to share is useless. I am terrified that people will think I’m copying other bloggers who have already created their own courses. And then I would say I’m so dang frustrated that I’m terrified because I’m supposed to be fearless this year. And I would ask you: do I pursue this dream? Do I put my degree to use through my blog? Would you want to learn anything from me?

If we went out to lunch, I’d ask you to tell me about your week and what shows you have been watching and did you see that Oliva finally got sent home from the Bachelor? I mean, I hope she finds someone to love her, but Ben was not the right one! And I would ask who you are rooting for and tell you that Dustin and I both love Amanda.

If we went out to lunch, I’d gush over the newest book I finished while on my cruise (The Husband’s Secret, by Liane Moriarty) and tell you how I still liked Big Little Lies better, but it was still so good. I’d ask you what kinds of books you’ve been reading and what recommendations you have for me, because I’m trying to unplug at night and read more.

And I would tell you that I’m totally failing as a wife right now because I haven’t cooked a dinner in a week or gone grocery shopping since we’ve been home from our cruise. We’ve eaten out way more than we should have because I’m lazy and just don’t want to cook. My husband has been so patient with me, but I need to get my act together and actually start cooking for him again. He’s been working overtime to make a little extra money for our next trip and I’m so grateful for him, but I just haven’t felt the motivation to cook for him! I need to get my act together.

If we went out to lunch, I would probably ramble on about all my problems and forget to ask you about yours and I apologize for that, but I’ve had one of those weeks and I would be so grateful that you listened to me spill my heart out over my favorite Thai food without complaining. But I promise that I would care about your life and would hope that we could meet up again next week, where things are better and I could be a good listener the second time around.

What would you want to tell me if we went out to lunch together? Be honest. I want to know.

Dear 16-Year-Old-Me

Dear 16-Year-Old-Me

I know you are facing some really tough stuff right now. I know that at times, you feel pretty hopeless and tired. I know how terribly scared you are and I know how sick you feel. I know you feel discouraged and heartbroken and at times, totally alone in your fight. I know about the tears you cry when no one else sees you, I know about the pain, both physical and emotional, and I know how hard it is for you to lose the use of your left leg and to become crippled. I know you don’t think anyone will ever understand how you feel…trust me that I do.

I want you to know, and to never forget, that you are loved, and that the fight you are currently fighting will always be worth it. Your life is worth it. And I want you to know that you will make it through this battle, and come out a better person for it. Keep staying positive, despite every setback you face, including those week long hospital stays, the mouth sores, the infections, the immune system crashes and the fevers. Chemo is nasty and it will wipe you to within an inch of your life, but you will finish it and your hair will grow back! Learn to love every simple and small moment you have, never take anything for granted and don’t forget about the lessons you learn during this year. Get as involved as possible with the kids around you; even though you will experience the heartbreak of losing a lot them-they will change your life more then you could possibly hope to help them, and they will fuel your fire to keep fighting. Love them as much as you possibly can.

Be patient with your dad, he’s doing the best he can while mom is with you. He loves you and worries about you and wants you to be okay. Tell Juli how much her friendship means to you often, because it turns out that she’ll be the only true friend who sticks this year out with you. Don’t worry about the kids in high school who forget about you or who just stay around because of obligation they won’t matter in a couple of years and you will care less about where they go and what they think of you. You don’t need to value your worth on what other people say or think; you are the only one who can be a judge of that.

Listen to the doctors, because they know what is best, not you. Trust them; they are keeping you alive. They care about you as a person and will write you amazing college recommendation letters down the road. Don’t start walking on that knee until you get the okay! I know marching season seems like the ultimate goal right now, but getting your knee to heal is much more important!

Work hard in school, even math, and take solace in band. Do not let anyone’s comments about your limp, your cancer or your feelings get you down-they don’t understand and they won’t, so don’t waste your breath trying to explain. You will feel lonely, but remember that you aren’t alone. Count your blessings, name your miracles and I promise you that after high school, it will all get better.

Go to the ocean often, drive with the windows rolled down and sing lots of Death Cab for Cutie and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Read. Spend nights out on the back porch counting fireflies. Stand out in the summer rainstorms. Tell your grandmother that you love her.

College is going to change your life and who you are. You are going to make some of the best friends you will ever have and you are going to fall in love (the real kind) with your best friend. You are going to really figure out who you are and who you want to be, and you are going to start to love yourself again, and even better, you will start to love yourself because of your flaws, scars and imperfections. You are going to look back on these years and see God’s hand in this trial. Try to look for it now. He’s not going to leave you alone to fight this by yourself, so don’t be afraid to lean on him. He will never leave you comfortless.

Chelsabelle, I want you to know how proud I am of you and your determination to keep fighting the good fight. I know how hard it is to stay positive when your life is so drastically changed, but I’m glad you try your hardest to look for the silver lining. Keep choosing to be happy, and always remember that you are alive for a reason. Survivor’s guilt is tough stuff, and I’m sorry, but we’re still working on coping with that 10 years later. But I want you to know that you never have to apologize for feeling things, you are human and it is your right. It’s okay to cry about the things you have lost, but don’t dwell too much on it. I know how tired your body is, but I promise you that when the time is right, and when the technology advances, you will have the opportunity to get most of your life back. You will get your knee replacement. It will be another long fight, but as always, it will be worth it. It will change everything.

You will never be able to turn your back completely on this year. You will always have to look over your shoulder to make sure you are still clear. You will continue to deal with the guilt and the anxiety and PTSD and there are days where you will have to force yourself out of bed and face that day. But I promise you that one day, you will be thankful for this trial. You will see how it was necessary and needed to help you become who you are today, and you will love it for that. Hold on to that.

In ten years, you will be walking limp free again and I know that seems utterly impossible right now, but it will come. Your pain will be manageable. You will have taught English in China for 6 months and you will have CLIMBED the Great Wall. You will get married to the man of your dreams, who loves you despite your scars and your past. You will become a fur mama to the sweetest golden retriever in the world. You will be a 10-year survivor.
Your life is beautiful. You are beautiful. Hold on to what you know and stay true to yourself. Believe in miracles and you will see them. Say your prayers. Tell your family you love them. Write often and read even more. Learn languages. Set goals and then work hard to achieve them. This is YOUR life, and no one else’s. You can do whatever it is you set your mind to and nothing will stop you or change that, not even cancer. I believe in you.

Love Always,
Chelsie

Want to catch up on the whole cancer thing? Check out these posts:

What Valentine’s Day Means to Me

11 Lessons Learned from Cancer

Life After Cancer: Survivor’s Guilt & Anxiety

What would you tell your 16-year-old-self if you could?

 

The Negative Side of the Blogging Culture

When I started blogging last year (and had no idea what I was doing or what it would lead up to) I was most excited about the community I had stumbled into. There were so many amazing and strong women out there, writing their stories, sharing their experiences and inspiring me to try to cook more! I finally felt like I had found my “people” and found myself pouring my heart into my space and into blogging. I was being challenged creatively, mentally and emotionally. I started caring about my body again, started caring about my appearance and well-being because of how other fashion and beauty bloggers were inspiring me. I started facing my demons face first instead of running away from them. And, I started making a little extra money on the side to help with student loans and my makeup addiction. I loved blogging. I loved every part of it and all the amazing things it was doing for my life.

Recently, though, there’s been a shift in the blogging community. I’m not talking about the “eCourse” shift. I’m talking about the “I don’t like this aspect of blogging/social media, so I’m going to talk negatively and bash everyone who does it this way” shift. It’s just been so negative lately in the blogging space. And I’m not talking about the casual blogging tip posts where bloggers share what they have learned or what strategies have worked for them. I’m talking about posts where people straight out say: “Flat-lays on Instagram are crap and I think the people behind them are liars and aren’t being authentic” or “5 reasons why I don’t read your blog or 5 reasons I unfollow you on Instagram.”

I think it really struck me just how negative the blogging culture has become when I was reading a post about a blogger who decided to stop pursuing follows and likes and who just wanted to write and be happy with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Go her! However, when I scrolled down to leave a response, someone else’s comment caught my eye. The person who left this comment basically said her new motto for the year was that she was going to immediately unfollow any blogs that were too cute, nice and creative and made her feel bad about her blog.

I sat and stewed about that comment for hours. What kind of mentality is this? Why must we immediately stomp on someone’s hard work because they may be a few steps ahead of us? Why do we get offended because someone might work harder than us? Where is the support for each other? Why can’t it be “5 reasons why I read your blog” or “5 reasons why I follow you on Instagram?” Why must women tear each other down because they don’t share all the talents as someone else? I’m not a crafty person, but I don’t immediately think “wow, that person is so talented at whipping out crafts that she makes me feel worthless, so I’m not going to read her blog anymore.” Instead, I try to appreciate her talent and enjoy looking at her hard work and feel inspired to try something similar when I have the time (which I probably won’t, but hey, I can dream!) There is no reason for blogging to be a competition; every person is unique and has their own story and we should be celebrating that instead of tearing into each other and using our blogs to dig at each other!

Here’s the thing: everyone’s blogging journey is different. You don’t HAVE to make money off of your blog. You don’t HAVE to have Pinterest-worthy photos. You don’t HAVE to have white backdrops for your Instagram shots. But hey, all the props to you in the world if you DO want to make money or if you DO want to have a specific niche blog. You do you, boo. Do what makes you happy!

And yes, if you want to monetize and turn your blog into a business, there are definitely strategies and techniques you can use to be more successful at turning your blog into a biz. I LOVE reading blog tips and tricks, pouring over new strategies for Pinterest and sharing what’s been working for me. I’m not dogging on anyone who shares their strategies for success; I think it’s amazing when bloggers share those things to help others and I try to share my (limited) knowledge as well! And the cool thing is that you could do something totally different than me and be just as successful! Those kinds of posts are awesome and so needed in the blogging community; but only when done in a positive and encouraging way.

And of course, not every type of blog/niche is going to be your cup of tea. I’m not a mom, so I don’t tend to click on blogs about pregnancy or interactive games for 2-year-olds. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate those types of bloggers and the great work they do over there! My point is this: do what works for you and what makes you happy!

It just makes me so sad to see all of the posts out there that have such negative undertones, instead of celebrating the diverse talents and successes of everyone. I know a lot of amazing bloggers who work really hard and are hustling because they have blog dreams and there isn’t anything wrong with that. And I know some people who use their blogs to share what’s on their heart and don’t bother about page views. There isn’t anything wrong with that, either. Let’s celebrate them all!

No matter what kind of blogger you are, no matter what journey you are on, if you are happy, that’s all that matters. If you want to post beautifully curated and thought-out photos on Instagram, you go for it. If you want to post photos of your dog or of your coffee mug and not worry about editing them, you go for it. If you want to write sponsored posts and monetize your space, GO FOR IT! And if you just want to write about your life and what’s been going on, do it. If growing your followers makes you happy because you are connecting with like-minded people, THAT IS OKAY! And if you don’t give a crap about who is following you or who is reading your blog, that’s just fine too.

This is all I want to say: as a blogger, when you sit down to write on your piece of the internet, you are writing into someone’s heart. You have the power to connect with someone out there who may feel alone or who may feel discouraged. YOU have the power to make connections that could change someone’s outlook, that could motivate someone to go after a dream or that could simply inspire someone to buy that red lipstick they’ve been afraid of. Use your words to spread positivity!

There is enough negativity in this world and the blogging culture doesn’t have to part of it.

Everywhere