What to do When Your Husband Is Stressed
I had a totally different post planned for today, but, as per usual, life has gotten in the way and as I sat down, this post came out of my fingers instead.
I’m not going to lie; it’s been a rough week. Dustin and I went to a family reunion up in Northern California this weekend, got home Monday and were faced with the sudden reality that not only were we moving this Sunday, but he had to finish up his massive internship project, write several papers and finish his online class by the time end of the week. Add onto that the fact that we’re trying to sell his motorcycle before we leave and trying to figure out how to pack all our stuff up in our little SUV (we’re not bringing our trailer in this move) and the fact that we’ve been pulling late, late nights at his office to finish up projects, things haven’t been cheerful. Oh, and Dustin got a skin infection in his knee and we spent 3 hours Wednesday night at Urgent Care waiting to see a doctor to get some antibiotics. Oh, and, the air conditioner in the car started making noises…three days before we’re to drive 800 miles to Idaho. When it rains, it pours, right?
When you love someone with all of your being, it physically hurts to see them so stressed out and exhausted. And, it’s so unbelievably frustrating because I feel so helpless when it comes to what he’s dealing with. I can’t finish coding his website. I can’t write his capstone paper.
Sometimes, life is just rough. It’s stressful. It’s easier to see all of the hard things instead of the beauty. And because I am Dustin’s partner in life, it is my job to share his burden; to support him and to do what I can. And while I can’t magically fix whatever bug his site got last night that caused over half of his coding to disappear, I can find other small things to do to help him out.
- Spend time with him
It’s such a simple and obvious idea, but when Dustin is feeling down, spending time with him always helps. I’ve been going to his office with him every night to work on blogging while he works on his projects; even though we aren’t talking much, being close by helps him to know he is not alone.
Sometimes all it takes to boost a person’s mood is having someone to talk to about things. Dustin will sometimes show me what he’s working on, talk about all the coding he’s changed and although it is way over my head, talking about it aloud to me always helps.
- Surprise him with a yummy dinner
Often when people are feeling down, they forget to eat or don’t have the energy to cook. The last thing on Dustin’s mind these days is what to eat for dinner.On Wednesday, we went to Chipotle after waiting in the doctor’s office forever and it was so nice to take 30 minutes to just sit and eat some food with Dustin. Other times that he’s feeling stressed, I take the time to cook him a homemade meal; having a dinner ready to eat when he gets home always seems to lighten the load just a tiny bit.
- Show him how much you care
Sometimes, when I’m at a complete loss at what to do, I try to find a way to remind Dustin that I’m here for him and that I care for him. I’ll get him a card and write a special note or pick up the watch he’s been eyeing for weeks. Doing something a little extra special reminds him that I care about him and that I’m here for him to lean on.
Note-This is a great method for cheering up best friends, too! If your best girl friend is sad, you can get her flowers, making her a CD, buying her a piece of jewelry. If your friend has a charm bracelet (they are coming back in style) you can get some amazing best friend charms from here.
4. Make him Laugh.
One of my favorite things about Dustin is his laugh; it’s so joyful. So, making him laugh, either by being a complete goof or telling him something funny, always gives me something to work towards during stressful times. Just the other night, after getting in at 2 AM from the office, we laid in bed giggling because we were so tired and my filter had turned completely off, so I was saying some ridiculous things.
At the end of the day, I know that this stressful time is just a brief moment in the grand scheme of things, and that it will all be worth it when he is walking across the stage next Thursday and receiving his diploma. We just have to make it through these next through days, constantly holding each other up and working towards that finish line. That’s what marriage is all about, isn’t it?
How are you all doing? Has anyone else had a rough week? What kinds of things do you do to lift you significant other up or what tactics do you use when your husband is stressed?