Our 5 Marriage Goals for 2017
Dustin and I are approaching 4 years of marriage in March and 7 years of being together in May. It’s absolutely insane to me that we’ve been together for that long – I mean, I can’t imagine my life without him, but 7 years is a long time! Our marriage has been filled with ups and downs, some really hard things, and some really beautiful things, too.
We get asked a lot (especially living in Utah) when we’re going to start having kids. While I strongly believe that this isn’t anyone’s business but ours, I wanted to talk about it for just a second to make sure that we’re all on the same page. One of the reasons why we haven’t even started planning for kids is because I’ve got a myriad of health issues/complications that are lingering from chemo that will make pregnancy a bit more complex. We’ve been moving around so much over the last two years and I wouldn’t have been able to find a doctor to stick with who could help monitor some of those health concerns. Another reason? We’re just not in a huge rush! We just wanted to really enjoy our time together as a married couple, really figure our relationship out, become financially stable and take the time to find career paths that made us happy. While I’m not saying (or judging) anyone who has done things differently, this is what has made us happy and has worked for us.
All of that being said, now that we’re finally settling down in one place for a while, Dustin and I are certainly getting closer to wanting to start our family. Not anytime in the immediate future – but we both feel like we’re getting closer to wanting it. At the beginning of the year, we sat down and chatted about some goals we had as a married couple for 2017 – goals that we both felt like it was important for us to achieve before we decided to have a family. So, instead of a monthly goals post, I’m going to open up and share some of those today.
*Please know that this is not me giving you marriage advice – but simply opening up about the things that work for my marriage!*
I’m going to share more on this goal in depth over the next few weeks, but this is one of our biggest goals for 2017. Dustin and I are so over feeling yucky all the time and are fully committed to making a lifestyle change (not just dieting for a period of time.) Dustin has been struggling with some health issues that would improve from those lifestyle changes. For me, it’s not so much about losing weight as it is about becoming stronger. When I decided that my word of 2017 would be Thrive, I realized that it meant that I physically needed to become stronger, and I feel like that also applies to having children some day. I’ve
We’ve each set a goal of the weight we want to be at by the middle of the year and have each picked a “prize” we can purchase after maintaining that weight for at least 2-3 months. I’m all about prizes. So far, we’ve been really good about cutting out excess sugar, eating healthier snacks, and not eating past 9:00 at night!
Buy Our First Home!
I’ve mentioned this in the last couple posts, but yes! Dustin and I just started the process of buying our first home. I really can’t believe that we’ve been able to save up enough money to even think about buying a property, but it’s happening. We just finished all the paperwork for preapproval and will hopefully start looking at houses over the next week or two. We’re house hunting in kind of a tight time window – our lease at our apartment ends on March 21st (and it’s double the rent to go month-to-month) so we’re aware that we just might not make it happen by then. If not, we’ll sign another short lease (6-8 months) and try again at the end of the year. Regardless, we’re officially in the process of buying a home and will hopefully have keys to our own property by the end of the year!
Unplug Once a Week for a Whole Evening
We’ve been trying to do this on Friday or Saturday evenings, and so far, it’s been awesome. We don’t bring our phones with us to date-night at dinner, we leave them in our bedroom while we watch a moving in the living room or play a game at the kitchen table, and we do a “5 minute check” to make sure there isn’t anything urgent before setting them aside for companionship inventory and pillow talk!
We both have realized how completely plugged in we’ve been over the last few months – to the point that we both will be completely oblivious to having a conversation with each other because we’re looking at our phones while talking. I fell in love with Dustin because of the real conversations we had, completely unplugged and in the middle of an open field while flying kites. I fell in love with Dustin because of the adventures he took me on, like bridge jumping, horseback riding, and snowmobile hut exploring. Our relationship was built on real connections and it’s important for us to maintain those connections!
Plan a trip abroad
Traveling with Dustin is one of my favorite things in the world and we both want to travel abroad at least one more time before we start a family. With the way things are shaking out for 2017 (my baby sister is getting married, a family reunion, and Christmas in Boston) I don’t think we’ll actually GET abroad this year. But, I do want to have our plans set so that we can go on a trip at the beginning of 2018 – no questions asked.
As for where we want to go? We can’t decide, but we have narrowed it down! I would love to take Dustin back to China, we both love the idea of going to Iceland, and we also aren’t opposed to going somewhere tropical! Any suggestions for us?
Wear Physical Reminders of Spending Time Together
About a year ago, I received a wooden watch from JORD to style and review (which you can see here.) I was never much of a watch person, but the watch from JORD was so beautifully crafted, it has become one of my go-to statement pieces to accessorize with.
Dustin, on the other hand, has loved watches his whole life. For as long as I have known him, he has been a watch fanatic – and tries to collect a watch for each major or meaningful moment in his life. So, when JORD reached out to me recently, I knew that I wanted to get him one of the men’s watches to match mine. I wanted him to have a beautiful and unique watch that he would love wearing that would also serve as a reminder of the season we are in of life right now.
Many of you know that Dustin and I have done a lot of moving around in the last couple years as he pursued different career paths. It’s not that Dustin didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, it’s that he simply refused to settle for a job that made him unhappy and underpaid him for his work. He has worked so hard over the last 2 years to find a career path that has helped us pay off all our credit card debt, take us on a dream vacation, buy a new car, and have enough saved up to start the process of buying a home. It’s been a hard road and there have been a lot of sacrifices along the way – but Dustin and I are in such a good place in life right now. He has found so much success at his new job in SLC and he actually has a work/life balance that allows him to come home and spend time with me every day. We’ve been prioritizing our time and making sure we actually spend time reconnecting with each other instead of sitting next to each other connected to our phones.
We’re in such a good place in our marriage, but we also know how easy it can be to slip back into old habits, which is why I’m so thrilled that Dustin and I both have beautiful wooden watches from JORD. These serve as physical reminders to put time with each other first! I choose to get Dustin the Dover Olive & Acacia watch because I knew he would appreciate the window into the watch that allows you to see all the gears moving. In both of our opinions, that’s the best aspect of JORD watches – they really think of the details.
Because it’s important for me to be completely honest with you all here, I do want to mention that Dustin does have one complaint with his watch. The way that the clasp on the watch is manufactured means that if he bends his wrist the wrong way, it pops open. It happened twice while we were out taking photos and that was a bit of a bummer for him – no one wants to have their watch pop off during their day! He’s still wearing it because it’s such a beautiful watch but has to be mindful of what he’s doing with his hands.
I’d love to know what goals you have with your significant other for 2017 in the comments below!