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Today is my 32nd birthday and if there’s anythin Today is my 32nd birthday and if there’s anything I’ve learned in my last year that I want to take with me into this year, it’s this:

I make my own magic 🪄

I am capable of creating, crafting, and designing this next chapter of life to be whatever I want. Infertility cannot stop me anymore. And I can’t wait.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #harrypotterworldorlando #birthdaywish #lifeafterinfertility #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #lifeaftermiscarriage
Happy birthday to my ride-or-die and bff for life Happy birthday to my ride-or-die and bff for life @ericaligenza. To have her in your life means you have the most loyal, inspiring, and generous friend that you would ever ask for. I can’t believe that this little app brought us together (with our girl @blondeandambitiousblog) so many years ago. Grateful that they both turned out to be real people (lol) and women who have held me up during the hardest times of my adult life. 

Hope you have the best day, E! Counting down the days until we are together again! ❤️

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #friendsforkeeps #instagramfriends #marchbirthday #friendshipbracelets #bffgoals👭
We fix each other’s crowns instead of pointing o We fix each other’s crowns instead of pointing out they are crooked. 👑 

To the women to always have my back, who inspire me daily to level up, who cry with me, who cheer me on, who save a seat at the table for me, and who keep fighting the good fight - I love you. You keep my world vibrant, and keep me going on my hardest days. 

Happy International Women’s Day!

#womensmonth #internationalwomensday #girlganggoals #girlgangs #womenhelpingwomen #squad❤️
2021 felt like a dumpster fire that burned out of 2021 felt like a dumpster fire that burned out of control about 90% of the time. Between a cancer scare that resulted in countless scans and blood tests, failed infertility treatments that broke our hearts every time, no matter how much we tried not to get our hopes up, and then the devastating blow that I needed to have a total hysterectomy and thus ending any hopes we had of starting our family - I felt like my life and my hopes and my dreams for our future had been reduced to a pile of ash. 

It feels surreal, to be starting the new year feeling so grateful for where 2021 left me. For the first time in four years, I have energy, motivation, and can actually get out of bed without being in extreme pain. I can actually think beyond the next 24 hours and make plans that I can follow through on. My life doesn’t revolve around iron transfusions, cycle tracking, or the anxiety that comes with the two week wait. 

What’s been even more surreal is to be able to say that I have been finding more acceptance and purpose in our new childless future and life. If I can’t have the life I planned on, then I’m going to live the hell out of the life I have instead. Dustin and I are rebuilding our futures both separately and together, and for the first time in four years, I’m excited to see what comes next for us. I feel more steady in this new life and more sure of the path we’re on then ever before. 

For in order to rise from its own ashes, 
A phoenix must first burn. 

2021 burned me. 
So I’m 2022, I will rise. 

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #childlessnotbychoice #childlessafterinfertility #lifeafterinfertility #findingpurpose #ttccommunity #infertilityawareness #jamaicavacation #wordoftheyear #ttcsupport
Endlessly grateful for being 6 weeks post op from Endlessly grateful for being 6 weeks post op from my total hysterectomy and feeling more like myself than I have in over a year. And I’m endlessly grateful for this guy - who has been my rock through every doctor’s appointment, every procedure, and every day I couldn’t get out of bed. Not only that, he is the sweetest, most tender uncle to our nieces that I could ever hope or ask for to share our girls with.
Just grateful for my health and my love and the hope for better days.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #ttccommunity #hysterectomy #hysterectomyrecovery #ttcjourney #husbandwife #ttcsupport #infertilitysucks
You are the keeper of all my secrets, the guardian You are the keeper of all my secrets, the guardian against all my fears, and the safe place I call home. 

Grateful to have you by my side as we walk into an unknown future that neither of us were prepared to face. But every day we walk further down our new road, I find more solid footing and more hope for what’s to come, because you keep me grounded through the waves of grief.

I love you. ❤️

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #hysterectomy #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #childless #adenomyosis #ttcjourney #infertilityawareness
I’m officially three weeks post hysterectomy tod I’m officially three weeks post hysterectomy today and was feeling well enough to shoot the holiday campaign photos for @shopmscb (with the help from my partner in crime, @kenzie_peach)

In fact, I told my surgeon last week at my first post-op appointment that I’m actually feeling the best I’ve felt ALL year. And I mean, that’s saying something since I was only two weeks post-op then, right? 

Even though the decision to go through with the hysterectomy felt impossibly hard to make, I know now that I made the right choice for me, my sanity, and my body. I feel more like me in the last week than I have in over a year. It’s like I’m waking up from a long, painful, dark hibernation and my world is starting to fill with vibrant colors again.

And even though I’m still sad it had to come to this, I am also feeling excited for what’s to come.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #hysterectomy #hysterectomyrecovery #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #infertilityawareness #infertilitywarrior #ttccommunity
There’s been a little more laughter in our home There’s been a little more laughter in our home lately. Snuggles and kisses and staying up way too late watching Netflix. It’s like the worst is behind us and we’re on the other side of what we’ve been dreading and the darkness that has covered us for so long is starting to lift. It doesn’t mean we’re 100% okay, but we can feel the light and the hope for the future and we’re choosing to face it hand-in-hand, together. 

And every night, you whisper to me: “This isn’t your fault. You’re my best friend. I love you more today than ever before. We’re going to live a beautiful life together.” And every night, we grow a little bit closer and our hearts mend a little more, and I know deep in my bones, that we’re going to be okay.

I love you, Dustin.

#ttccommunity #ttcjourney #hysterectomy #childfreenotbychoice #childfreeafterinfertility #infertilityawareness #infertilitysucks #healingafterinfertility

Hey There, Chelsie

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Lifestyle + Personal

Life-Changing Advice on how to Set & Achieve Your Goals – #yearofme

Read up on this life-changing advice on how to set goals based on your personality type! This advice changed how I set my goals and made achieving my goals as an adult so much easier // Hey There, Chelsie

Since deciding that 2018 would be the #yearofme, I’ve been in this information download mode. I’ve been trying to get my hands on as much material that I can that will help me in my journey of self-development and personal growth. One of the main types of information I’ve been loving is Podcasts. There are SO many amazing podcasts out there with different ideas, approaches, and techniques to growing and learning and being a better version of yourself.

At the beginning of December, I listened to this episode of Melyssa Griffin’s Pursuit with Purpose. It was titled: How to Easily Stick to Your Habits and Routines by Understanding + Utilizing your Personality Type with Gretchen Rubin. I knew I wanted to listen to it because one of my biggest downfalls is my inability to follow through with my personal goals and new habits. And let me tell you, this podcast was LIFE CHANGING. Since listening to it, I have completely changed the way I plan on reaching my goals and it’s also helped me understand certain people in my life (like my husband) so much better.

Since I know so many of us are trying to make 2018 the #yearofme, I wanted to share some of the things I learned and how it’s totally changed my life!

Life-Changing Advice on How to Set & Achieve your Goals:

Gretchen’s approach to setting goals, habits, and routines is all based on four personality types that she has called tendencies. When you understand what your tendency is, you can understand how to work towards hitting your habits and goals!

Expectations:

One of my biggest takeaways from this whole tendency framework was to replace the idea of “goals” with the idea of “setting expectations.” Here are the definitions of these two words broken down:

Goal: the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.

Expectation: a belief that someone will or should achieve something. There are inner and outer expectations in our lives. Inner expectations are when we expect something of ourselves and outer expectations are expectations that others have of us.

Understand the difference between these two things is super important in applying the method. When we set goals, we set expectations for ourselves – but we seem to struggle the most with upholding those expectations. Why is that? Why do we set goals at the beginning of the year, but find ourselves failing to meet those expectations within weeks? It’s because we aren’t creating a plan that aligns with our personality traits to help us achieve them!

The Four Tendencies:

Gretchen breaks down the way we respond to expectations in four categories:

Upholders – They respond to both outer and inner expectations without questioning anything.

Questioners – They question all expectations (both outer and inner) and only meet an expectation if they think it makes sense.

Obligers – They meet outer expectations because they know someone else is holding them accountable, but they struggle to meet the expectations they impose on themselves.

Rebels – Resist all expectations (both outer and inner.)

Every person has a tendency, and once you understand your tendency, you can adjust the way you approach your goals so that you can achieve them!

How understanding my Tendency has changed the way I approach my goals:

Read up on this life-changing advice on how to set goals based on your personality type! This advice changed how I set my goals and made achieving my goals as an adult so much easier // Hey There, Chelsie

After listening to the Pursuit with Purpose Podcast, I already had an idea of which tendency I was. I got home from the gym and promptly took her quiz to double check and sure enough, I was right. I am an obliger. I have no problem meeting outer expectations (like when my manager expects me to have a project done for work or when I’m asked to teach a lesson at church) but I struggle meeting my inner expectations (working out, eating healthy, and working hard on my blog when there is Netflix readily available.)

After realizing how I operate when it comes to expectations, I was able to look at my goals for this year and make adjustments to my plans on achieving them. Because I am an obliger, I always follow through with outer expectations, so I needed to find a way to make my inner expectations turn into outer expectations. For example:

One of my biggest goals this year is to be more consistent with my blog and to focus in on growing it again. So, in order to make this inner expectation an outer expectation, I signed a year-long contract with my photographer. Every month, she expects that we will shoot blog content for 5 hours. This has helped me (and even forced me at times when I’m struggling with motivation) to come up with content to shoot, to show up for the shoot, and to follow through with writing posts that go along with the photos we have shot!

Another way I’ve turned my inner expectations to outer expectations is by texting my three blogging goals for the day every morning to a small group of close blogging friends here in Utah. By sharing my goals for the day with others, I’m transferring my inner expectations to outer expectations. My friends know that I’m working on those goals and expect an update by the end of the day to hear if I hit them.

Another goal I have this year is to say “no” more so that I can focus on the things that I really want to do and not get burned out in the process of pleasing everyone else. In order to make that an outer expectation, I have shared that goal with my husband, family members, and friends. I not only want them to understand why I say no if they ask me to do something, but also to encourage me when I do say no. I said no this last weekend to Jeeping (which was SO hard) and instead of being bummed out that I wasn’t going, my husband encouraged me and supported me in my decision. I also started the #yearofme Facebook Group last week, where I could continue to share my goals with a small community and having them hold me accountable.

YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN: Introducing the #yearofme: an HTC Community

Now, my husband, on the other hand, is not an obligor. He is a questioner, through and through. He questions EVERYTHING and has a totally different process when trying to find the motivation to follow through with his inner expectations. For example:

Dustin has a goal to hit a certain weight for health reasons this year. When he decided that was going to be one of his goals, he spent DAYS and WEEKS researching different diets, eating programs, and meal plans. He talked to EVERYONE he knew who was following some kind of eating routine or program and asked them why they liked it, how it was working, and why they choose that program to follow. Finally, he felt like he had enough information and reasoning to choose the Keto/Low-Carb lifestyle as his method of choice. He felt like the science behind it made sense and that it would be beneficial for him. Since making that choice, he has had almost no problem following through with his inner expectations to eat well and to lose weight.


Listening to this podcast and learning about the four tendencies has totally and completely changed my life and the way I approach setting my goals. I have NEVER been good at following through with goals, and I know I’m only a month into the new year, but I’m already doing better than ever. I have hit EVERY sub-goal I set for myself this month. I have said no on numerous occasions. I have blogged consistently and am actually ahead of the content game for once in my life, thanks to my photographer contract. And, with my husband’s help, I have gone to the gym 2-3X a week and have followed a healthy eating lifestyle that has already resulted in 6 pounds lost!

Knowing your tendency and how to set goals to work with your tendency is LIFE CHANGING!

So, I challenge you to listen to the podcast, take the tendency quiz, and start re-evaluating your goals and adjusting your plans so you can meet them. You can also check out Gretchen’s book, which dives even deeper to each tendency and how to work with them!

P.S. If you are an obliger, come join the #yearofme Facebook group so you can turn your inner expectations to outer ones (by sharing them with the community!)

Let me know what tendency you are in the comments below!

20 Comments · Written On:January 29, 2018

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ChelsChats: 2020 Life Update

Chelsie - Hey There Chelsie

Hey there, I’m Chelsie!

Pediatric Cancer Survivor, Infertility Warrior, and Jeep Enthusiast.

I healed my relationship with my body through makeup and clothes and found confidence in living a full and vibrant life through the process.

Whether we’re chatting style tips, makeup tricks, or strategies for personal growth, I’m here to help you find and embrace your inner vibrance.

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Today is my 32nd birthday and if there’s anythin Today is my 32nd birthday and if there’s anything I’ve learned in my last year that I want to take with me into this year, it’s this:

I make my own magic 🪄

I am capable of creating, crafting, and designing this next chapter of life to be whatever I want. Infertility cannot stop me anymore. And I can’t wait.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #harrypotterworldorlando #birthdaywish #lifeafterinfertility #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #lifeaftermiscarriage
Happy birthday to my ride-or-die and bff for life Happy birthday to my ride-or-die and bff for life @ericaligenza. To have her in your life means you have the most loyal, inspiring, and generous friend that you would ever ask for. I can’t believe that this little app brought us together (with our girl @blondeandambitiousblog) so many years ago. Grateful that they both turned out to be real people (lol) and women who have held me up during the hardest times of my adult life. 

Hope you have the best day, E! Counting down the days until we are together again! ❤️

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #friendsforkeeps #instagramfriends #marchbirthday #friendshipbracelets #bffgoals👭
We fix each other’s crowns instead of pointing o We fix each other’s crowns instead of pointing out they are crooked. 👑 

To the women to always have my back, who inspire me daily to level up, who cry with me, who cheer me on, who save a seat at the table for me, and who keep fighting the good fight - I love you. You keep my world vibrant, and keep me going on my hardest days. 

Happy International Women’s Day!

#womensmonth #internationalwomensday #girlganggoals #girlgangs #womenhelpingwomen #squad❤️
2021 felt like a dumpster fire that burned out of 2021 felt like a dumpster fire that burned out of control about 90% of the time. Between a cancer scare that resulted in countless scans and blood tests, failed infertility treatments that broke our hearts every time, no matter how much we tried not to get our hopes up, and then the devastating blow that I needed to have a total hysterectomy and thus ending any hopes we had of starting our family - I felt like my life and my hopes and my dreams for our future had been reduced to a pile of ash. 

It feels surreal, to be starting the new year feeling so grateful for where 2021 left me. For the first time in four years, I have energy, motivation, and can actually get out of bed without being in extreme pain. I can actually think beyond the next 24 hours and make plans that I can follow through on. My life doesn’t revolve around iron transfusions, cycle tracking, or the anxiety that comes with the two week wait. 

What’s been even more surreal is to be able to say that I have been finding more acceptance and purpose in our new childless future and life. If I can’t have the life I planned on, then I’m going to live the hell out of the life I have instead. Dustin and I are rebuilding our futures both separately and together, and for the first time in four years, I’m excited to see what comes next for us. I feel more steady in this new life and more sure of the path we’re on then ever before. 

For in order to rise from its own ashes, 
A phoenix must first burn. 

2021 burned me. 
So I’m 2022, I will rise. 

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #childlessnotbychoice #childlessafterinfertility #lifeafterinfertility #findingpurpose #ttccommunity #infertilityawareness #jamaicavacation #wordoftheyear #ttcsupport
Endlessly grateful for being 6 weeks post op from Endlessly grateful for being 6 weeks post op from my total hysterectomy and feeling more like myself than I have in over a year. And I’m endlessly grateful for this guy - who has been my rock through every doctor’s appointment, every procedure, and every day I couldn’t get out of bed. Not only that, he is the sweetest, most tender uncle to our nieces that I could ever hope or ask for to share our girls with.
Just grateful for my health and my love and the hope for better days.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #ttccommunity #hysterectomy #hysterectomyrecovery #ttcjourney #husbandwife #ttcsupport #infertilitysucks
You are the keeper of all my secrets, the guardian You are the keeper of all my secrets, the guardian against all my fears, and the safe place I call home. 

Grateful to have you by my side as we walk into an unknown future that neither of us were prepared to face. But every day we walk further down our new road, I find more solid footing and more hope for what’s to come, because you keep me grounded through the waves of grief.

I love you. ❤️

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #hysterectomy #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #childless #adenomyosis #ttcjourney #infertilityawareness
I’m officially three weeks post hysterectomy tod I’m officially three weeks post hysterectomy today and was feeling well enough to shoot the holiday campaign photos for @shopmscb (with the help from my partner in crime, @kenzie_peach)

In fact, I told my surgeon last week at my first post-op appointment that I’m actually feeling the best I’ve felt ALL year. And I mean, that’s saying something since I was only two weeks post-op then, right? 

Even though the decision to go through with the hysterectomy felt impossibly hard to make, I know now that I made the right choice for me, my sanity, and my body. I feel more like me in the last week than I have in over a year. It’s like I’m waking up from a long, painful, dark hibernation and my world is starting to fill with vibrant colors again.

And even though I’m still sad it had to come to this, I am also feeling excited for what’s to come.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #hysterectomy #hysterectomyrecovery #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #infertilityawareness #infertilitywarrior #ttccommunity
There’s been a little more laughter in our home There’s been a little more laughter in our home lately. Snuggles and kisses and staying up way too late watching Netflix. It’s like the worst is behind us and we’re on the other side of what we’ve been dreading and the darkness that has covered us for so long is starting to lift. It doesn’t mean we’re 100% okay, but we can feel the light and the hope for the future and we’re choosing to face it hand-in-hand, together. 

And every night, you whisper to me: “This isn’t your fault. You’re my best friend. I love you more today than ever before. We’re going to live a beautiful life together.” And every night, we grow a little bit closer and our hearts mend a little more, and I know deep in my bones, that we’re going to be okay.

I love you, Dustin.

#ttccommunity #ttcjourney #hysterectomy #childfreenotbychoice #childfreeafterinfertility #infertilityawareness #infertilitysucks #healingafterinfertility

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Today is my 32nd birthday and if there’s anythin Today is my 32nd birthday and if there’s anything I’ve learned in my last year that I want to take with me into this year, it’s this:

I make my own magic 🪄

I am capable of creating, crafting, and designing this next chapter of life to be whatever I want. Infertility cannot stop me anymore. And I can’t wait.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #harrypotterworldorlando #birthdaywish #lifeafterinfertility #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #lifeaftermiscarriage
Happy birthday to my ride-or-die and bff for life Happy birthday to my ride-or-die and bff for life @ericaligenza. To have her in your life means you have the most loyal, inspiring, and generous friend that you would ever ask for. I can’t believe that this little app brought us together (with our girl @blondeandambitiousblog) so many years ago. Grateful that they both turned out to be real people (lol) and women who have held me up during the hardest times of my adult life. 

Hope you have the best day, E! Counting down the days until we are together again! ❤️

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #friendsforkeeps #instagramfriends #marchbirthday #friendshipbracelets #bffgoals👭
We fix each other’s crowns instead of pointing o We fix each other’s crowns instead of pointing out they are crooked. 👑 

To the women to always have my back, who inspire me daily to level up, who cry with me, who cheer me on, who save a seat at the table for me, and who keep fighting the good fight - I love you. You keep my world vibrant, and keep me going on my hardest days. 

Happy International Women’s Day!

#womensmonth #internationalwomensday #girlganggoals #girlgangs #womenhelpingwomen #squad❤️
2021 felt like a dumpster fire that burned out of 2021 felt like a dumpster fire that burned out of control about 90% of the time. Between a cancer scare that resulted in countless scans and blood tests, failed infertility treatments that broke our hearts every time, no matter how much we tried not to get our hopes up, and then the devastating blow that I needed to have a total hysterectomy and thus ending any hopes we had of starting our family - I felt like my life and my hopes and my dreams for our future had been reduced to a pile of ash. 

It feels surreal, to be starting the new year feeling so grateful for where 2021 left me. For the first time in four years, I have energy, motivation, and can actually get out of bed without being in extreme pain. I can actually think beyond the next 24 hours and make plans that I can follow through on. My life doesn’t revolve around iron transfusions, cycle tracking, or the anxiety that comes with the two week wait. 

What’s been even more surreal is to be able to say that I have been finding more acceptance and purpose in our new childless future and life. If I can’t have the life I planned on, then I’m going to live the hell out of the life I have instead. Dustin and I are rebuilding our futures both separately and together, and for the first time in four years, I’m excited to see what comes next for us. I feel more steady in this new life and more sure of the path we’re on then ever before. 

For in order to rise from its own ashes, 
A phoenix must first burn. 

2021 burned me. 
So I’m 2022, I will rise. 

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #childlessnotbychoice #childlessafterinfertility #lifeafterinfertility #findingpurpose #ttccommunity #infertilityawareness #jamaicavacation #wordoftheyear #ttcsupport
Endlessly grateful for being 6 weeks post op from Endlessly grateful for being 6 weeks post op from my total hysterectomy and feeling more like myself than I have in over a year. And I’m endlessly grateful for this guy - who has been my rock through every doctor’s appointment, every procedure, and every day I couldn’t get out of bed. Not only that, he is the sweetest, most tender uncle to our nieces that I could ever hope or ask for to share our girls with.
Just grateful for my health and my love and the hope for better days.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #ttccommunity #hysterectomy #hysterectomyrecovery #ttcjourney #husbandwife #ttcsupport #infertilitysucks
You are the keeper of all my secrets, the guardian You are the keeper of all my secrets, the guardian against all my fears, and the safe place I call home. 

Grateful to have you by my side as we walk into an unknown future that neither of us were prepared to face. But every day we walk further down our new road, I find more solid footing and more hope for what’s to come, because you keep me grounded through the waves of grief.

I love you. ❤️

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #hysterectomy #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #childless #adenomyosis #ttcjourney #infertilityawareness
I’m officially three weeks post hysterectomy tod I’m officially three weeks post hysterectomy today and was feeling well enough to shoot the holiday campaign photos for @shopmscb (with the help from my partner in crime, @kenzie_peach)

In fact, I told my surgeon last week at my first post-op appointment that I’m actually feeling the best I’ve felt ALL year. And I mean, that’s saying something since I was only two weeks post-op then, right? 

Even though the decision to go through with the hysterectomy felt impossibly hard to make, I know now that I made the right choice for me, my sanity, and my body. I feel more like me in the last week than I have in over a year. It’s like I’m waking up from a long, painful, dark hibernation and my world is starting to fill with vibrant colors again.

And even though I’m still sad it had to come to this, I am also feeling excited for what’s to come.

#heytherechelsie #myvibrantlife #hysterectomy #hysterectomyrecovery #childlessnotbychoice #ttccommunity #infertilityawareness #infertilitywarrior #ttccommunity
There’s been a little more laughter in our home There’s been a little more laughter in our home lately. Snuggles and kisses and staying up way too late watching Netflix. It’s like the worst is behind us and we’re on the other side of what we’ve been dreading and the darkness that has covered us for so long is starting to lift. It doesn’t mean we’re 100% okay, but we can feel the light and the hope for the future and we’re choosing to face it hand-in-hand, together. 

And every night, you whisper to me: “This isn’t your fault. You’re my best friend. I love you more today than ever before. We’re going to live a beautiful life together.” And every night, we grow a little bit closer and our hearts mend a little more, and I know deep in my bones, that we’re going to be okay.

I love you, Dustin.

#ttccommunity #ttcjourney #hysterectomy #childfreenotbychoice #childfreeafterinfertility #infertilityawareness #infertilitysucks #healingafterinfertility

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