How Makeup Taught Me to Love My Body | Utah Beauty Blog
Chelsie opens up about why she loves playing with makeup, how she got into it, her makeup philosophy and why she decided to start her Utah Beauty Blog.
Last week, I posted this picture to Instagram with the following caption:
“I’ll never claim to know everything about makeup, and I sure as heck do not have the skill set to create the looks other beauty gurus can. Sometimes, I feel kind of silly and almost like an imposter when I share beauty posts or do makeup tutorials. Who am I to create and share that content?
But, every morning, I sit down in front of my vanity and I create. I play with colors and shapes and textures. And when I’m done, I look at myself in the mirror and I see the girl I’m trying every day to be: strong, confident, sassy, and vibrant.
I don’t need makeup to be that girl, but it’s through makeup that I’ve discovered her. My hope in sharing beauty content here is that I can help you discover that version of yourself, too, and learn how to express yourself through as much or as little makeup as you want.”
I wrote that caption and shared it on social media that day because I was feeling some serious imposter syndrome. I’m not a big youtuber and I’m definitely not professionally trained when it comes to applying makeup. In fact, I STILL struggle with my eye shape and winged eyeliner on a daily basis (#hoodedeyeproblems) I kept wondering “Who am I to recommend makeup products to others? Who am I to do share a tutorial or take a selfie of makeup? Do others roll their eyes at me when I talk about my favorite beauty products?” By industry standards, I’m not an expert and I’m not qualified to talk or share makeup and that can be kind of terrifying.
Additionally, I constantly find myself worried that my love for makeup could get misconstrued with the message I want to share with others. I feel like we, as women, are bombarded by one of two messages. 1: You MUST wear makeup in order to be beautiful or 2. Screw everyone and everything that encourages you to wear makeup because you don’t need it. Neither of those messages are ones I want to share across my platforms and I want to make sure my heart is understood when it comes why I share my beauty content.
Let me be clear: I never ever want anyone to feel like they NEED to wear makeup to be beautiful because that’s definitely not the truth. But I also do not think that there’s anything WRONG with wearing makeup or feeling extra beautiful or confident when putting it on. I know that I feel like my most best and confident self when I wear my makeup, which is why I love sharing it with the HTC community. Like I said above, makeup has helped me discover a whole new version of myself: a person who actually loves her body and wants to care for it.
I’ll be the first to admit: My relationship with makeup wasn’t always healthy. When I first started getting into it, I wanted to use it as a way to cover up the visible reminders that cancer had left with me. I didn’t want to see my gappy eyebrows or my sparse eyelashes that didn’t grow back correctly after chemo. I didn’t want to see cancer – something that I was convinced had left me ugly and unloveable. Makeup was a means to cover up that hurt that I had been left with and a way to present ME to the world, without cancer covering that up.
Over time, however, the more time I spent in front of my vanity playing with my makeup, the more time I spent exploring the creativity I was able to tap into through it. I spent more time appreciating my body and finding ways to celebrate my favorite things about it, instead of covering it up. I learned that my body wasn’t out to “get me,” but that it was fighting like hell to live for me. I learned how to take the confidence that I felt when my scars weren’t visible with makeup on and how to channel that at all times, no matter how much (or how little) foundation I was wearing that day. I learned that the more time I spent putting my makeup on, the more peace and love I had for my body instead of hate and resentment. I learned that I COULD rock a bold lip or glitter eyeshadow, not because I “had the face” to pull them off, but because I wanted to pull it off. My confidence in who I was and my fierceness and passion for life grew and grew with every smoky eye and every red lipstick I wore.
Maybe makeup won’t always be a priority for me or something I spend so much time (and, cough, money) on. But I sure as heck won’t ever feel ashamed or bad for enjoying it now and for sharing my joy (and findings) here on HTC. It’s my goal in sharing beauty content here to reduce the overwhelm you feel when trying to buy makeup for yourself and to give you the encouragement to wear makeup because you want to find that own fierce and confident version of yourself.
I guess all of this is to say: I’m never going to claim to be a “beauty guru” or tell you that you NEED makeup to be beautiful. But I am going to tell you that it is OKAY to wear makeup (as little or as much as you want) and it’s OKAY to spend the time putting it on. It’s 100% fine to express yourself through your winged liner or the color of your lipstick. Don’t let anyone take away the joy or confidence you get from wearing makeup and be proud of the person you are with and without it.
And I’ll be here, cheering you on, doing all the makeup testing for you, and reminding you that this is your vibrant life. Fill it with all the things that you love.
