Making Your Spouse’s Dreams Your Own
I’m writing from warm and beautiful California and am so excited to be back at my keyboard and on Life with Rosie. Thanks to all of my wonderful blog friends who wrote guest posts this last week and kept my corner of the internet busy and active! Our move went as smoothly as possible, and although our sweet Escape had to work super hard to tow the motorcycle over the Donner pass, we only had one minor incident with the trailer…which happened while we were trying to park it in the driveway at 2 AM (Dustin’s ears took a nap while I was directing him and the taillight might have bumped into the fence). I’ll take it.
Dustin and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary this weekend by taking a quick weekend trip to San Fransisco. We had a great time visiting the zoo, eating fresh fish on the Pier, walking through Chinatown while eating dumplings and walking across the Golden Gate Bridge. It was great to get away after an overwhelming move and busy semester and reconnect and talk about the last two years of our lives and revisit our plans for the future.
Dustin recently decided that he wanted to try summer sales this summer. It would require him to go to Louisiana for the month of August and changes our plans for the rest of the year a little bit. However, it would give Dustin the opportunity to make a significant amount of money to put towards his ventures in the next year.
Dustin’s dreams have always been big and bold. His ultimate goal is to generate enough passive income through real estate so that he can work a part-time job and be a hands on dad someday. That means that our first “home” purchase would ideally be a rental property (duplex or fourplex) that we could start renting out immediately. The income from that property would eventually be saved up for a down payment on another rental, and so on. While owning our own home is definitely in the plans someday, it’s not on the top of the priority list for him to start on his real estate empire.
It’s been a huge learning experience for me to be married to a man who has big dreams that challenge my traditional view of marriage and family. I always thought I would get married and my husband would find a job and work 8-5 every day and we would buy a home and settle down. But, I didn’t marry that kind of man. I married Dustin Carr, who wants to move around the country to try new jobs that will potentially make him a lot of money so he can buy a rental property and then expand upon that so he can be around while we are raising our future family.
For a while, whenever Dustin talked about his plans, they were always “his” dreams. Because I had different expectations for our future, it was definitely a challenge for me. I was having a hard time accepting them as part of “my” future.
But this is marriage, which is full of compromise and communication and wanting the best for each other. I have learned that while Dustin’s dreams are different; they are beautiful. I have seen him truly flourish while chasing them; I have seen his passion while taking small steps to achieve them and his ultimate goal (to be in control of his work schedule so he can help me with the kids) is the most selfless and loving part of it all. My reluctance of accepting his dreams as my own has made him doubt himself or feel like they aren’t worth chasing and that is not fair of me.
So, although Dustin is changing our plans and although I might not get my house right away with the money we save up for our first real estate purchase, I don’t mind anymore. Dustin has taught me to dream big and together, I know we will achieve all of our dreams. I have realized, after two years of marriage, that Dustin’s dreams are my dreams. I want him to have everything this life has to offer and I will do everything I can to make sure that happens. Dustin has always supported me in my dreams and it’s about time I get on the train and support his.
What challenges did you face in your marriage/relationship? What have you learned from them? Do you share the same vision as your spouse’s dreams?